


Alternative Swimwear Choices

by nanasekei



Series: Happy Steve Bingo 2019 Fills [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Ficlet, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Happy Steve Bingo, Humor, M/M, POV Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanasekei/pseuds/nanasekei
Summary: On a beach day with the team, Tony has strong feelings about Steve's choice of outfit.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Happy Steve Bingo 2019 Fills [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485866
Comments: 48
Kudos: 469
Collections: Happy Steve Bingo 2019





	Alternative Swimwear Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [comic panel](https://elcorhamletlive.tumblr.com/post/188266690275/okay-so-i-had-this-post-in-my-mind-for-most-of-the). For my "40s" square from Happy Steve Bingo.
> 
> Thanks to Ferret for the beta!

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

Steve raises an eyebrow at Tony as he lands, splashing sand around. The armor strips off Tony’s body, slowly exposing the physique he’s definitely flaunting after all those sparring sessions with Thor, because he _ deserves _it, damnit, and revealing the choice of his red, tight, and, according to certain tabloids, “characteristically tacky” speedo.

In Tony’s opinion, however, Steve’s outfit is much worse.

He had barely believed it when he saw it, hovering over the beach and preparing to land. He had just announced his arrival over the comms to everyone else, and, yeah, maybe he should have been focused on saying hello to the Barton children, who were shrieking excitedly about seeing Iron Man, but instead he immediately focused his vision to check out Steve’s choice of bathing attire, and what he found was scandalizing.

“It’s more comfortable than anything you have nowadays,” Steve argues, as he stands there in his 40s beach suit, which consists of a pair of blue shorts that looks like they gave up halfway to becoming hot pants (much to Tony’s disappointment), absurdly paired with a brown belt.

“This belongs in a museum, Cap,” Tony argues. He might be a little heartbroken by the fact that Steve is not in a speedo – ever since Clint mentioned the beach vacation, Tony had been strategically instructing JARVIS to include “increasingly revealing swimwear” in the first suggested Google searches for any device used in the Tower, and maybe he dreamed of Steve choosing to break everyone’s expectations by wearing a G-string and making Tony’s day.

“Some would argue that so do I,” Steve counters. Tony rolls his eyes. By now he’s learned to tell the difference between when Steve is genuinely feeling obsolete and sad because of his man out of time status, and when he’s just playing up the role of the old man to get the kids out of his lawn. 

And Tony isn’t getting out of his lawn anytime soon.

Speaking of kids, Clint’s catch up to them immediately, surrounding Tony with excited voices and even more excited questions.

Tony spends a while drawing armor schematics in the sand for the mini Bartons, until they get tired and decide to go ask “Aunt Nat” for piggyback rides.

He watches as they run to her. Oh, to be young and unafraid of death.

He takes advantage of the little break to look around. Clint and Natasha are enjoying the sea, and maybe Tony should have been surprised this idea came from them of all people, but then again, maybe not. Bruce is sitting on a towel under an umbrella, along with Clint’s wife. Tony would be worried that he’s not having fun, but, according to him, the other guy finds the ocean strangely calming.

Thor is next to them, sunbathing. As soon as he stands up, Tony finds out at least _ someone _put those G-string ads for good use.

Tony eyes the mighty buttocks, because of course he does. They’re not Steve’s, but you have to work with what you got.

“What is the matter with my trunks?” Steve’s voice cuts through Tony’s scientific observation. He sounds grumpy, which makes Tony look, because grumpy Steve is really cute, especially when his face is flushed from the sun.

“Nothing,” Tony says magnanimously. He can think of several matters, in fact, but to be honest, he can’t deny Steve looks really adorable in the ridiculous, old-fashioned shorts. He looks like an overgrown, obscenely muscular boy scout. Tony both wants to make fun of him and bite him. “I just don’t know why you’re so averse to modern clothing.”

“I’m not.” He looks away from Tony, eyes also finding the unavoidable view of Thor’s ass. His flush deepens, and his gaze quickly shifts to the sand. “I just wouldn’t feel comfortable in something so… revealing.”

“It’s all a matter of habit,” Tony says with a joking roll of his hips.

He’s unprepared by how Steve stares straight at him. “Maybe,” he says, and his mouth curls into something that, if Tony didn’t know better, he’d call _ mischievous _. Then he shifts, face very red as he stares at a seashell. 

“I don’t know how Thor does it,” he says, distant, his voice sounds… suspiciously, _ threateningly _ innocent, and if Tony didn’t know better he’d think—“When I tried it on, I found the string very uncomfortable.”

_ Holy shit_.

“You. Uh.” Tony stands there as his brain melts, leaking out of his ears and flooding the sand with genius I.Q. “You… own one of those?”

Steve’s eyes spark with some amount of shyness and some amount of something definitely _ dangerous_. “You’re always telling me to switch it up.” He shrugs. “So I thought I’d try it on.” He tilts his head just a little, and he has to be unaware he’s looking at Tony through those absurdly long eyelashes right now, right? He… has to. “Not sure if the beach is the best place to wear it, though.”

The few remaining brain cells Tony has left work on relearning the alphabet. “…Right. And, might I inquire—what would be the place to wear it?”

“Uh, not sure,” Steve shrugs with one shoulder, eyes darting away, and it’s that, that weird layer of nervousness under all the coyness, that’s a fucking danger to society and everything it holds holy. It’s _ menacing_. “I mean, you—uh, you obviously know more about 21st century fashion than me. I guess I thought you could have some… ideas.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply with what is hopefully a collection of very creative ideas that are also nearby and accessible at this very instant, but he’s interrupted by the full smash of a beach ball right on his face, so strong it nearly knocks him to the ground.

“Sorry,” Natasha says from the water, not sounding sorry at all. The children, all around her in their little floats, don’t bother with the courtesy.

“Maybe you should play with us to get revenge,” Lila suggests, clearly not one for subtlety.

After a brief moment where he seems to check if Tony is okay, Steve laughs. He stands up, clasping Tony’s shoulder.

“Come on,” he says. “Let’s give them a fair fight.” And then, unless Tony is actually delirious because of the sunlight, he perks his hips a little, grinning slyly with those damn flushed cheeks: “And then later we can, uh, brainstorm.”

It maybe be the dorkiest come-on Tony’s ever gotten, but, as he follows Steve’s cute, 1940s-styled butt to the sea, he can only be thankful the water is cold.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are highly appreciated. You can also [reblog the fic here](https://elcorhamletlive.tumblr.com/post/188800477085/alternative-swimwear-choices-nanasekei-marvel).


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